Rap Battle! Serverless vs Containers - Think FaaS Podcast

Transcript

"Serverless vs Containers"

[SERVERLESS] You can call me crazy but it's how my momma raised me: Servers make me nervous but serverless never fazed me. Maybe I'm just lazy, but why deploy a box When abstraction brings the action for a fraction of the cost? My code is in a zip file, requirements in a Pipfile, Cram it in a Lambda with SAM -- all I do is ship, while Standing proud in the cloud, on the shoulders of the giants, What you need a server for? The value's in the clients.

[CONTAINERS] Yeah, but ... I wish there was something more portable to wrap my app in ... Oh, wait, there is, it's called containers. They make crap happen. Check it out, I can build the way I used to, Open source is dope of course, run it where I choose to. Automate and orchestrate with Kubernetes at the helm, Hand on my tiller, I'm a killer in the service realm. Plus, all these Hello World tutorials are slick, So someone call the Docker, 'cause this stack is lookin' sick.

[SERVERLESS] See, this is what you do. It's insane. You overcomplicate. The name, Kubernetes, so arcane, you spell it with an eight. I'm no cloud economist but I'm sure you don't wanna miss The savings you could find if you put your mind to simplifying this. Are you building Pixar? Is your name John Lasseter? Then why you need a service mesh? Why you need Ambassador? Istio? Really, though? This kingdom isn't magic. You throw it in production and the outage gon' be tragic.

[CONTAINERS] Hey, take a breath, man, you ran kinda long there. Fifteen minute timeout, you gotta save your song, there. You got limitations, I run applications. Every enterprise has their eyes on containerizations Why? Long jobs, real time, doesn't matter, I eat hard problems for mealtime, so pass the platter, So many industries left to disrupt, I know your cold start makes it hard but try to keep up. Check it, One ... two... three...he's getting warmer...

[SERVERLESS] Wait and see, the latency's no worse than your complacency. Face it, see, you're basically chasing a place you don't wanna be. My services improve all by themselves, they get better, Meanwhile you're out of luck, stuck chuckin' out the cheddar. Hey, remember Spectre and Meltdown? You were up all night. Me? I slept, that's right, the cloud provider kept it tight, You can patch your runtimes, I'll have happy fun times, Delivering value while, pal, you fight the same old fight.

[CONTAINERS] Mate, that sounds great, but wait, let's use our brains here. Yo, I got constraints here. I'm running Java 8 here. Diggin' in the brownfield, movin' the ball downfield, Can't rearchitect it all until we look respectable.

[SERVERLESS] I just wanna build more, that's what I get billed for, Lambda gives me power our past selves would have killed for

[CONTAINERS] I know, I'm just saying, we're in a different state of being.

[SERVERLESS] Yeah, but function are amazing, and ... wait, are we agreeing?

[CONTAINERS] Yo, I think it's possible that both of these architectural approaches are valid in different scenarios.

[SERVERLESS] I hesitate to admit it but obviously use cases support both of our positions.

[CONTAINERS] Truce?

[SERVERLESS] Truce.

[CONTAINERS] Let's bring it home!

[SERVERLESS] Ultimately, both of us have the same destination, Get rid of heavy lifting without differentiation,

[CONTAINERS] So whether your abstraction is a function or a node, You can get a lot of traction, just keep truckin' on the road.

[SERVERLESS] And if your app goes down at three AM ([CONTAINERS] and it will!) You gotta own that, it's your problem still.

[BOTH] There's no silver bullet hocus pocus managed guarantee But when business is your focus you'll be where you wanna be.

[CONTAINERS] Hey, that felt good.

[SERVERLESS] All right, we're not friends.

[CONTAINERS] Sorry.

[SERVERLESS] Hey what does this error mean? Process exited without completing req...